Maybe it’s the countless conversations I’ve had with girls,
listening to them complain about their boyfriends or brothers or fathers. Maybe
it’s the magazine article I read, just yesterday, stating, “There are so many
good women out there who are prepared and ready to be godly wives and mothers.
So where are all the good men? I’m sorry to tell you, but not many exist
anymore.” Maybe it was hearing the words “I think you married the last good man”
issue forth from no other mouth but my own. Maybe it was all those things put
together that made me realize something:
For some reason that
escapes me, women have convinced themselves that there are no good men left.
No men worth waiting for. No men who will come into her life
and treat her right and not be a jerk.
And I have no idea
why.
Honestly, I don’t. Sure, there are bad men. There are jerks.
There are boys masquerading as men that wouldn’t know maturity if it slapped
them in the face. There are those men. But there are those women too, though I
don’t hear much about them. And I can’t take it anymore, this constant hating
on men, by everyone.
So this is a letter, to you, men, not so much an explanation
as an apology.
Because you are constantly being torn down everywhere I
look. By women, by other men, by the church, and by our culture. The Facebook
page of a church I follow recently posted “Men, girls want to have babies, not
date them.” The popular TV shows and movies portray fathers and husbands mostly
as bumbling idiots who are lucky to be married to a woman that knows what is
going on in life. The messages you hear constantly only serve to tear you down,
and for that, I am truly sorry. I’m sorry that we haven’t done more to build
you up and encourage you in your manhood. I’m sorry we blame your entire sex
for the faults of some. I’m sorry that when you’re chivalrous, it’s expected
and sometimes we don’t thank you, but if you’re not, you’re a jerk and we make
sure you and the entire room knows it. I’m sorry we have told you time and time
again that there are no good men left, because chances are we were talking to
one when we said it. I’m sorry that we have impossibly high standards, and
somehow expect you to be the type of men that only exist in Nicholas Sparks'
novels. I'm sorry that we've reduced you in our minds to people who only think about sex and sports instead of realizing that you have passions and hobbies and dreams like anyone else.
And I guess I wanted to say thank you, too, because I know
so many good men that don’t get half the thanks they deserve. Thank you for
when you look out for us. Thank you for when you let us wear your jackets when it’s
cold and we didn’t bring one. Thank you for complimenting us when you want
nothing in return. Thank you for putting up with all the lies about manhood
that are consistently and forcefully shoved down your throat. Thank you for
helping us understand how you think. When you are told none exist, thank you
for being good men anyway. To my friends, brothers, and father, to all the men
that I am proud to call a part of my life, coming from a girl who once
foolishly bought into the lie that there are hoards of good women with no good
men to be found...
Thank you for proving me wrong.
I want to add here that this is in no way an attack against women, either. I realize not all women constantly attack or belittle men. I just know that I have been guilty of this, and it was a perspective that desperately needed to change in my own life. Perhaps this is just a reminder that words have power, and ideas have power, and please won't you believe there are good men as readily as you admit there are good women? And in the end remember that, as humans, we're all bad. There is no good in me or you except by the redeeming work done in and through us by Christ. And He works in both genders. I leave you with this, which really is the point of this whole post:
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works...encouraging one another." -Hebrews 10:24-25
