Dinner With a Perfect Gentleman

I ate dinner with a gentleman tonight.

I watched as he pulled out his lovely wife’s chair, took her jacket, and made sure she was comfortable. I watched him genuinely care about how everyone around him was doing. I watched him notice that I was freezing cold, and immediately offer me his suit coat. I confided in him that I had no idea what order to use the six pieces of silverware laid out for our three course meal. And as he quietly, kindly gave me an etiquette lesson, I was left wondering, “How does he know that? I didn’t know guys cared about these things!” When I was asked to pass the creamer, with its delicate pitcher and accompanying saucer, I remarked how I was nervous that I would break something at this much-too-fancy dinner table. He just smiled and said, “You’re doing a good job.” I watched him laugh, and make everyone relax despite our formal surroundings, and I realized that he had put me, too, completely at ease in an environment where it was not easy to do so. I was extremely disappointed, but impressed, when he excused himself early from dinner to go pick up his two young sons from their grandparent’s house, so his wife could enjoy the rest of the party knowing her kiddos were in bed.

Yes, I ate dinner with a gentleman. A perfect gentleman. I leaned over to his wife after dinner and said, “You’re husband is the best, but I think you took the last gentleman on earth. Because few of the guys I know treat people the way he does.” And she smiled, as if she knew some great secret that I did not, and replied, “Rachel, there’s a boy out there who is just waiting to treat you like that. I might take a while to find him, but he’s there.”

I must say that she has more confidence than I do, but she did make me think.

 Why do I sometimes search so hard for love and acceptance that I will settle for a guy who walks all over me, treats me like dirt, and in no way views me as something to be treasured? Why do I set myself up for heartache?  And I realized something there, at that dinner table: I settle far too easily because I get impatient, discouraged, or worried that if I don’t take whatever guy happens to show interest in me, I might never get one at all. 

It took eating dinner with a perfect gentleman to realize that I want a man like that. It took seeing the way he looked at his wife, the look where you can tell that he is just madly in love with her, to realize that I want someone who looks at me like that.  It took watching him live out character, humility, and kindness to realize that true men really do exist. Thank God that He opens our eyes to the mistakes we are making. Thank God that He gives us a second chance, and helps us do it right this time around. Thank God for new hope.



Thank God for perfect gentleman.

Breaking Down Walls and Picking Locks: A Plea For Action

Can I ask you to do something for me?


Next time you see a person who puts up walls, break them down. They're not trying to isolate themselves, they just want to feel safe. So break down their walls and care and ask them how they're doing...really, and show them what safe really looks like.


Next time you see a person who threw away the key that opens the padlock on their door, pick the lock. They're not trying to shut the world out, they just don't want to get hurt again. So surprise them with a smile, or a gift, or a kind word.

Next time you see someone who has all but hung a neon 'KEEP OUT' sign around their neck, break in. Not harshly, or in a demeaning way. Carefully, gently, and with lots of love. They don't really want to be alone, they just want someone who will actually stay with them through thick and thin. So be that person.

Next time you see someone who's crying, upset, or having a bad day, forget social norms for one moment, and just go ask them what's wrong. And don't try and fix them. Trust me, they've got people trying to do that already. But that's not what they need. They need a shoulder to cry on, not someone telling them to smile. They need someone who lets life be not okay, because life is so very not okay sometimes, not someone who tells them that everything happens for a reason. And don't tell them to be strong or that this will make them stronger, because it's okay to be weak for a little bit. But you can tell them you're sorry that their life is upside down...that one might actually help.

Next time you see someone who just wants to be loved, and who will do anything to get it, don't tell them they're beautiful. Don't tell them they're worth so much more than that. Don't tell them that they are valued. Go show them that. Go hug them, talk to them, smile at them, and just be with them. They don't need one more cliché thrown in their face. But they could probably use a friend.

Could you do something for me? Next time you see someone who's broken, would you just take a minute to make them feel amazing? Because, and I'm speaking from experience, all they want is to be okay. But no person should have to settle for just okay.  So could you help them? Could you go outside your comfort zone? Could you break down walls, and open doors, and show someone their worth?  Could you live with abandon and realize that it's so much more fulfilling than staying inside the box of what's normal and accepted. Because you could be brightening someone's darkness for just a moment, or you could be saving their life.



You never know.



He's my Hero (Times Two)

Picture this:

A girl, completely alone for an hour, sitting outside her locked car. Not only is her car locked, but the only key she has for it is locked inside. And not only is the key locked inside, but also her cell phone, her purse, her guitar, her jacket, and her shoes. Oh yeah, and there's a storm brewing.

Sad picture, right?
Well, that girl is me.

Yeah...I've had better days.

But now picture this:

Once that girl gets a hold of a phone, she knows exactly who to call. He picks up after a few rings.

"Dad, I know you're at work, and I know you're busy. But Daddy? I need help."

So, he does what Dads do. He calls the insurance agent, the locksmith, and then me.

"Hey hun, the locksmith is on his way."
"Hey Daddy, I know it's a lot to ask, and you don't have to, but could you come? I don't know what I'm doing."
He didn't really want to. He didn't really have to. He had a million and one better things to be doing than rescuing his daughter in the middle of his workday.
But he's my Dad, so he came.
He's my hero.

And I realized that that's exactly how it works with my God.

He didn't have to come. He didn't have to die. He probably had a million and one better things He could have been doing. But He came anyway, because He's my Dad.

Everytime I call on Him to ask for help, He never fails. Everytime I have to tell Him I don't know what I'm doing, He doesn't scold me for my ignorance. He just stays by my side. And He rescues me, every day, from so many worse things than a locked car. Because He's my Dad, and I'm his daughter.

He's my hero.

Looking at the circumstances, I've had better days. But looking at the two Dads in my life that are there in a heartbeat whenever I call, all I can think is:

"I am So. Incredibly. Blessed"